Theme of Fatherlessness in A Pressing Emergency

Tony... Who Is Tony?

I have been thinking about this character since late 2023. He is forever evolving as I write, research, think, and am constantly inspired day by day.

Fatherlessness is a very important and strong theme in A Pressing Emergency.

Tony is from the South Bronx.

He is of Puerto Rican descent.

He was born in 1980 to an unwed teenage mother and an absent father who cared more about community organizing and social justice.

Based on that information alone, one could infer that his life would not be an easy one. It is almost as though he was set up to be a failure in life, especially with the absence of his father.

Many people are walking among us with father wounds stemming from not having a father, having an abusive father, or growing up without a strong male role model.

Statistics demonstrate that fatherlessness can impact both men and women. For the sake of this blog post, I will focus on fatherlessness in men. God willing, I could write about the impact of fatherlessness on women in the future.

In the United States, there are 18.2 million children without a father. That is approximately one out of every four children living in a household without a biological, step, or adoptive father, according to the National Fatherhood Initiative.

Households without fathers have also increased significantly over the decades.

Children raised in single-parent households can face a greater risk of living in poverty and relying on public assistance. They can also be more vulnerable to dropping out of high school, substance abuse, incarceration, and other difficult outcomes.

There are also serious emotional and mental-health consequences associated with father absence.

It must be mentioned that some fathers are not around for their children by choice. Others are absent because of immigration issues, incarceration, premature death, conflict with the child's mother, or countless other circumstances.

Regardless of the reason, the absence of a father can leave a tremendous void in a child's life.

And that brings me to God.

All that said, it should come as no surprise that some people who have experienced fatherlessness can struggle with God or even develop enmity toward Him.

How can that be possible?

God is a Spirit. He is called Abba. He is called Heavenly Father. Throughout the Bible, He is revealed through many names and titles.

A father is called to reflect certain attributes of God's character to his children. He should strive to demonstrate the love, responsibility, protection, discipline, and provision that come from God.

God is a provider, an affirmer, a disciplinarian, and a protector.

Provider

In the Bible, God is revealed as Jehovah Jireh—the Lord who provides.

How can a fatherless child understand God as a provider if he never experienced his earthly father providing food, clothing, shelter, or other necessities?

But provision isn't only about material things.

What about time?

What about presence?

What about a father sitting down with his son, listening to him, teaching him, or simply being there?

Sometimes the greatest provision a father can give his child is himself.

Affirmer

Many wander this earth without ever receiving an affirming or encouraging word from their father.

There are plenty of people who are overachievers. They have acquired an abundance of wealth, resources, fame, beauty, and success, yet they still feel empty.

They are trying to fill a void.

In Matthew 3:17, when Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist, the Father declared:

“This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

Some people have not—and may never—hear their earthly father say, “I am proud of you, son.”

That affirmation can mean so much.

Disciplinarian

Fathers are called to discipline and correct their children when they misbehave.

Sometimes mothers provide that discipline as well, but fathers have an important responsibility in teaching their children right from wrong.

Hebrews 12:5–6 says:

“My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord... For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth...”

God's discipline is not about destroying His children. It is an expression of His love. He corrects those whom He loves because He desires their growth and holiness.

Protector

Psalm 121:7–8 says:

“The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in...”

A father should want to protect his children.

Unfortunately, there are predators who deliberately seek out vulnerable families and single mothers because they want access to children. This is one of the darker realities surrounding fatherlessness and the vulnerability it can sometimes create.

A good father should be a source of safety—not another source of danger.

And Then There Is Tony

Tony's father's absence did not only create an economic or social disadvantage.

It left an unhealed wound.

He did not know who he was or where he came from.

There was no consistent example of masculinity, authority, love, or ultimately, fatherhood.

And that affected how he viewed the world.

A male figure is supposed to reflect God's character in these and other ways. If that figure is absent, neglectful, abusive, or unreliable, how can someone who has experienced that begin to understand that God is good?

This does not mean that everyone who grows up without a father will reject God.

But for some, the wounds caused by an earthly father can affect how they perceive their Heavenly Father.

As tempting as it is to write more about Tony and his background, all I will say is that he was deeply impacted by having an absent father.

However, this is a fallen world, and being saved by Jesus does not mean that life will suddenly become a cakewalk.

Tony's father's absence contributed to many poor choices and very bad decisions.

He walked around with the wound.

And because he had that wound, he looked for a father figure in anybody—including other characters in the book.

Both relationships were unhealthy.

But you would have to read the book to explore that.

Not having a father caused so much emotional pain and trauma in Tony that God eventually used a military experiment in a world where Christianity is banned.

There, Tony meets Chaplain Amos.

Amos ministers the gospel to him and begins to show Tony something he had never fully understood:

God had been in pursuit of him the entire time.

Tony has to confront his trauma.

He has to unleash the anger, shame, and brokenness that he has carried for years.

But more importantly, he has to discover who he is.

And ultimately, whose he is.

Fatherlessness does not only affect individuals.

It can affect families, communities, and society.

When children grow up without stable families, the consequences can extend far beyond the household.

Men also have a responsibility.

When men father children and abandon their responsibilities, broken homes can result.

Women also face difficult circumstances when they are left to raise children alone.

And society has a responsibility to consider whether its policies strengthen or weaken families.

These are complicated issues, and I do not pretend that there is one simple explanation for fatherlessness.

But I do believe there is one answer to the deepest wound.

Jesus Christ.

An earthly father can fail.

An earthly father can leave.

An earthly father can die.

An earthly father can be abusive.

An earthly father can be absent.

But our Heavenly Father is not like that.

He is the Father who never leaves.

And perhaps that is what Tony has been searching for all along.

A Prayer for Those Healing From Fatherlessness

I would love to offer a prayer for anyone who is in need of healing from fatherlessness or from the wounds caused by the lack of a strong earthly father.

Heavenly Father, in the name of Your Son Jesus, by the Holy Spirit, I lift to You whoever needs this prayer.

Regardless of whether they had a father or did not have a father, You are the greatest and most loving Father that any man or woman can have.

You know each one of us. You knew us when You knitted us together in our mother's womb.

You know every wound, every disappointment, every unanswered question, every tear, and every longing for love and acceptance.

You can provide so much more than our earthly fathers ever could.

Heal the wounds caused by fatherlessness.

Heal the wounds caused by abusive fathers.

Heal the wounds caused by absent fathers.

Heal the wounds caused by fathers who were physically present but emotionally absent.

Teach us to see You as You truly are.

Help us to understand that You are a good Father.

We thank You that healing is possible through You.

In Jesus' name, Amen.